1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
