Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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