i think my tv is drunk
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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