I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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