i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
