Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
