nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
