a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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