The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
