Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
