My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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