so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
