i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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