I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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