omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize