I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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