I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
