shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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