when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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