I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
