it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
