I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
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I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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