it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
