no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
