When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize