Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Someone signed my nipple.
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