yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
