No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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