I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
