Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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