How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
