we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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