Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize