So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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