did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
