i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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