I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
