Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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