Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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