Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So squirting runs in the family.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
