i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
ttyl tear gas
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
