Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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