Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
