Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
