That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You've changed since you got that strap on
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
