the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
