32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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