We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
