I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
