He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
