so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
