My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
