just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
