How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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