Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
