we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
