The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
