Sorry, I don't speak sober.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
