BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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